I am quite high in uncertainty avoidance.
I don't like it when something is uncertain, and that I have to wait for a period of time, or worst, when I have no idea when it can get more certain.
But as years go by, and as I look at how my life has been thus far, God has shown me over and over again, that I really should leave it to Him when it comes to perfect planning. He knows best. And His plan is ALWAYS perfect.
Here is a snippet of my life that shows His perfect master plan. Let's go back to 11 years ago.
In July 2003, I first came to Singapore for my undergraduate study. I was the first in my family to go and to live abroad alone (although I'm the youngest!). It was hard for me and my parents, especially my mom. I was in doubt whether this was really the best thing to do that time. But hey, God proved me it was! Not only I got to pursue great education and met wonderful professors and people at the Indonesian students Christian fellowship, God had planned for my meeting with my soulmate :) We got together in February 2005, and the rest is history.
In 2007, a semester before my graduation, I was working as a student assistant in my school. Then one day, a lovely lady came to ask for my help. Apparently, she was the new head of public and promotional communication division. I just knew her and instantly thought she was a nice person. And after helping her for a few times, she seemed to have a positive impression of me and we started to have a good working relationship. Little did I know, that I would be working with her for the next 5 years! Yes, she was my boss and Masters supervisor. And she introduced me to another nice professor to be my co-supervisor, who then became my boss too. God had planned it all :)
In June 2010, just two days (and one day for hubby) before our wedding day, we submitted our thesis (Masters for me and PhD for hubby). Just in time, right? :p we felt so relieved that we could have our wedding and the two celebrations in Indonesia without having to think about them. Perfect timing. And I'd say, it was God's work.
Also, I had secured a job after I finished my study. And thanks to my kind boss, she allowed me to start working in August, so that I had time to enjoy my wedding celebrations and honeymoon and some holidays before coming back to work. But I told her to just give me one year contract, cause at that time, hubby was thinking of finding a job in another country. It had been his dream to get some experience outside Singapore and Indonesia. We hadn't known where yet, but just to get prepared, I would work for a year first, August 2010-July 2011. My boss could always renew my contract if we ended up staying in Singapore after that.
But guess what?!
On October 20th 2010, my home pregnancy test was positive! I was so thrilled. We were pregnant!! So we made an apppintment with a gynae, and on November 1st, we heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. And two weeks later, we came back and saw a tiny bean :) there was lil c:! And the baby's due date? Mid June 2011! And I was entitled for 8 weeks maternity leave. Do you see the connection with my work contract? Baby due in June, 8 weeks maternity leave, contract expired in July. What a perfect timing! And I managed to save some of my annual leaves, so my last day of work was around May 22nd. Then my mom came on May 26th. And I started my exactly 8 weeks maternity leave from June 5th to July 31st.
And guess what (again)?!
Lil c: was born on June 5th! The first day of my maternity leave. Although it didn't really matter, but it felt like I maximised my maternity leave really well :) I couldn't understand how everything fell into the right place at the most perfect time. It all looked like it was very well planned. And indeed, things like these (conception and due date) only God can plan!
So after lil c: was born, I didn't continue working in office anymore. But I never thought that I was putting myself into a more challenging work, at home. I was ao stressed, even with my mom around. Baby blues were real for me :p I kept thinking how I could possibly survive taking care of a baby, a husband, and myself without any help from mama? It seemed impossible. Mama was supposed to help me for 3 months, but then suddenly something happened.
In end of July 2011, my maternal grandma's (was 99 yo then!) health started to drop. My mom had to go back to Surabaya to take care of her. So we quickly bought her a ticket home, and by August 1st, when lil c: wasn't even 2 months old, I finally had to face the reality. Mama went home and now, the hard reality began. I literally cried every day for 2 weeks. I was hopeless, clueless, lonely, and exhausted. In addition, there was this growth spurt that made lil c: became even more cranky, that I felt I didn't and couldn't understand her at all! But I really had to learn to survive. At some point, sooner or later, mama would go home anyway. So God started to train me, the hard way, since then. The training to become a stay at home was never easy. Lots of tears, for sure. But as days went by, God gave me the strength, and most importantly, the joy to do it all. I began to be able to manage my time for the chores, and to learn cooking and even baking. I started to get my sanity back and things became make sense again. It was a hard decision to be a stay at home mum, but I wouldn't change it for a thing :)
And little did I know, that God had planned this all to prepare me for what to come. Yes, He prepared me for 1.5 years, before finally in April 2013, we came to London. London!! Who would've thought?!
All the trainings came handy. While eating out is expensive, I've been used to cook everyday before coming here so I can handle that. Occasionally when I am not feeling well, hubby helped with the cooking, or we simply eat out. Once in a while is still fine :) While it's impossible to get help from others (family is far away, and we can't afford hiring a helper), so far we manage to do the chores our own, and hubby has been really helpful. For this, God took 1.5 years to train us. And His training is still currently in progress. We believe that whatever He is doing with us now, it's a training for whatever He has prepared for us in the future :)
Oh Lord, You have shown us Your great mercy and Your perfect plan in every step of my life. This is only a small part of what You've perfectly planned for me. I believe that every single day in my life falls into Your perfect plan. Help me to remember this and to trust You when things get uncertain or rocky. Let all my life glorify, honor, and praise You always. Thank You for everything, Lord..
- ming -
amazed by His perfect plan
I am quite bad at waiting.